Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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