i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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