So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize