I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
