why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
