Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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