I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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