You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
