remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
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Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
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I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.