forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
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I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
In other news, I just burned my penis
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It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.