dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail