he puts the penis in happiness.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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