i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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