We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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