He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I've blown a few things in my day
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
