for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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