To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
