so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize