Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
