I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
