i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
