I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Randomize
