either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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