so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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