Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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