Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
