My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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