My hair reeks of homosexuality.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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