it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
