she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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