you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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