I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
