I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize