Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
