Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
