I look better un-naked...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
