I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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