my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.