So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.