i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"