Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.

(1-909): View more from California

3?

(909): View more from California

Me, myself and I

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(909): The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking. (1-909): 3? (909): Me, myself and I http://tfl.nu/gl4k

Replies (3) Good night (1301) Bad night (373)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds

(1-440): View more from Ohio

How much beer did you get for it?

(440): View more from Ohio

One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied

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(440): Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds (1-440): How much beer did you get for it? (440): One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied http://tfl.nu/6auu

Replies (2) Good night (471) Bad night (1535)
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(636): View more from Missouri

we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"

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(636): we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle" http://tfl.nu/m65a

Replies (17) Good night (6995) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
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(301): View more from Maryland

You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain

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(301): You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain http://tfl.nu/26nd

Replies (10) Good night (4020) Bad night (1102) Order T-Shirt
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.

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(603): Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty. http://tfl.nu/d4ib

Replies (9) Good night (5056) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.

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(970): Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier. http://tfl.nu/o9ed

Replies (19) Good night (9100) Bad night (1276)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN

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(+44): just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown. (+44): before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN http://tfl.nu/72q0

Replies (28) Good night (8448) Bad night (1186)
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(206): View more from Washington

Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.

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(206): Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit. http://tfl.nu/8fs8

Replies (9) Good night (3976) Bad night (564) Order T-Shirt
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(206): View more from Washington

Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage

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(206): Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage http://tfl.nu/qnyx

Replies (3) Good night (1831) Bad night (1071) Order T-Shirt
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(316): View more from Kansas

I was tackling you out of excitement

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.

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(316): I was tackling you out of excitement (918): Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall. http://tfl.nu/io5x

Replies (3) Good night (1213) Bad night (487)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Bad breakup?

(1-410): View more from Maryland

He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.

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(410): Bad breakup? (1-410): He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB. http://tfl.nu/4dsn

Replies (54) Good night (1171) Bad night (6109)
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(716): View more from New York

I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?

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(716): I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest? http://tfl.nu/jsvy

Replies (7) Good night (760) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
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(618): View more from Illinois

I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.

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(618): I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays. http://tfl.nu/7cee

Replies (2) Good night (3277) Bad night (365) Order T-Shirt
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(609): View more from New Jersey

He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.

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(609): He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state. http://tfl.nu/7xin

Replies (24) Good night (304) Bad night (1063) Order T-Shirt
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(620): View more from Kansas

Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.

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(620): Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there. http://tfl.nu/1ncw

Replies (0) Good night (646) Bad night (198) Order T-Shirt

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