At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the day after is always just damage control
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
