Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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