So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Every concussion has its silver lining
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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