i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
