I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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