I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he thought i was a dude.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
