glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize