I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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