Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
