HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
