dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
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This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
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also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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