She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
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he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
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He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My vagina is very pro this idea
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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