We won't sleep together?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
