dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
