How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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