Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
