is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
