You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
