A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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