we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
