She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
