They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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